When the sunrays rises the very next day, some parents would find out if the two had engaged in sexual connections

At the same time, seniors folk create plan for the 2 to sleep in you to definitely home to own per night. When they see that little took place because of fear by boy, brand new old dudes, courtesy his brother, do organize briefing instructions to inform the fresh new boy exactly who the latest woman can be so the guy is to no further hesitate away from girls and female. There’s a familiar faith that women “bite” one of several young people, no that dares to express contrary opinions. Due to this faith, boys and you will girls don’t hurry towards matrimony and you can, as a result, they often get married within period of 30 or thirty five.

New boy narrates in order to their buddy most of the emails of your own girl he has appreciated and would like to out of not less than simply about three, comprising the young people, their buddy, and one cousin although not their parents, visits the fresh girl’s house with the intention that those two corners discover for each other really

Further, parents and you may uncles ( eni mbumba ) (who owns the youngsters) will always be wanting to provides its boy otherwise girl see good suitable relationships lover. Even though some of them practices was diminishing, they however mode area of the youth’s way to delivering ong the fresh Chewa.

Among Chewa , when men indicates relationships to good girl, this isn’t noticeable that they can marry immediately. There was a procedure that comes to uncles, aunties, parents, chiefs, or other important people in the city. ” Even with are trying to find the man, your lover does not say “yes” at the earliest proposal in the guy. The guy needs to validate their reputation several times before the girl nods to your proposal. To date, some men call it quits thinking the fresh new girl isn’t searching for all of them.

With respect to the Chewa people, it is wrong toward girl to simply accept a marriage proposal in the beginning experience of men. The girl should delay allowed to ensure she actually is viewed given that “solid,” not eager, maybe not easy, and you will anybody guys can be endeavor to have.

Acknowledging the brand new proposal during the 1st contact with the person is actually a great manifestation of exhaustion on girl. They indicators the woman is “inexpensive.” In addition, in case the people battles to win the fresh girl after a great impede inside the acknowledging an offer, it signals an effective wedding. In addition shows that the person try strong and durable adequate. Subsequent, they ensures you to whether or not they deal with challenges in-marriage, one another might be strong enough to manage circumstances.

To start with, when the man matches the brand new girl, the man states, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” definition “Woman, I enjoy you, and you can would love to marry you

This step is called “kufunsira mbeta,” definition wedding proposal . When the girl in the long run accepts, the guy provides the girl chikole ( one thing actual that woman otherwise a man can show anyone else one this woman is engaged). Popular circumstances utilized once the chikole are mikanda (jewelry) , cloth feminine always use to tie more their heads, or any other matter things. Supplying the woman chikole demonstrates the man try serious about marrying this new girl and you may prevents this new girl off becoming approached of the most other guys to own relationships proposals. When another type of guy approache the lady, she suggests the brand new chikole to cut off your regarding hot Santiago women proceeded his improves.

Once the girl welcomes the new proposition, she suggests the person to inform her uncle about it. As previously mentioned earlier, one of several Chewa, new brother is mwini mbumba (owner of one’s people on the clan). If people arranges to see the brand new buddy of one’s girl, the guy doesn’t wade by yourself. To start with, he’s got to inform their sibling concerning the girl he’s got recommended relationships so you can. Once they visited the newest girl’s cousin, their cousin may also not be alone – he or she is usually entered by the other family members of one’s girl but not their particular parents. As soon as the brand new boy’s party arrives, they engage in discussions titled malonje (introductions and you may inviting responses).

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